Regrets, I've had a few…and regretfully my confessions have been even fewer. Why is that? Why don’t we confess more? Afraid of gossip, afraid of judgments, afraid to face our weakness. I’ll admit, those are fears of mine. However, I do crave confession. There is something appealing to me that makes me want to sit down in a catholic confession booth and unload. There are even friends and family members that I’d like to confess my struggles too but I don’t because I’m afraid what they might think of me or I’m afraid they will tell someone. But I need to confess, we need to confess. Why, because when we don’t confess we tend to avoid God! When we don’t confess our sin it eats us up and keeps God’s healing grace at bay. So, how do we confess? Ortberg gives a lot of good biblical incites about confession in this chapter, but I thought I’d give you a few practical and biblical ways you can actually practice this discipline of confession.
Second,
in the midst conflict: Life is full of conflict. And for some
reason we seem to fight with the ones we care about the most. And the biggest
reason most relationships fail is because they don’t know how to fight fair and
own up to their own mistakes. Confessions that are shallow and not backed up
with remorseful and then corrected behavior are nails in the coffin of
relationships. The following exert is taken from www.peacemaker.net (this
is great resource for how to handle conflict biblically).
One
of the most challenging principles of peacemaking is set forth in Matthew 7:5,
where Jesus says, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own
eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's
eye." There are generally two kinds of "logs" you need to look
for when dealing with conflict. First, you need to ask whether you have had a
critical, negative, or overly sensitive attitude that has led to unnecessary
conflict. One of the best ways to do this is to spend some time meditating on
Philippians 4:2-9, which describes the kind of attitude Christians should have
even when they are involved in a conflict.
When you identify
ways that you have wronged another person, it is important to admit your wrongs
honestly and thoroughly. One way to do this is to use the Seven A's of Confession.
The most important
aspect of getting the log out of your own eye is to go beyond the confession of
wrong behavior and face up to the root cause of that behavior
As God opens your
eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a
way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people
have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess
their wrongs honestly and unconditionally. Instead, they use words like these:
"I'm sorry if I hurt you." "Let's just forget the past."
"I suppose I could have done a better job." "I guess it's not
all your fault." These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness
and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you
breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs.
One way to do this is to use the Seven A's.
Address everyone
involved (All those whom you affected)
Avoid if, but, and
maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
Admit specifically
(Both attitudes and actions)
Acknowledge the hurt
(Express sorrow for hurting someone)
Accept the
consequences (Such as making restitution)
Alter your behavior
(Change your attitudes and actions)
Ask for forgiveness See
Matthew 7:3-5; 1 John 1:8-9; Proverbs 28:13.
Third, the need for accountability: When you’re struggling with a sin that keeps defeating you, then God has provided help through the process of accountability. An accountability partner or group needs to be fellow person(s) in Christ of the same sex (one exception could be your spouse). This could range from a formal Christian counselor to small group to a good friend or (like I just stated) even your spouse in some cases. No matter who it is, they need to be someone you trust, who is mature (new Christians do not make good accountability partners!!!). Most importantly, they need to be someone who can keep things confidential.
Finally, when not to confess: Many of us struggle privately (in our minds) with sins and temptations. These types of struggles do not always need not to be confessed publically. Some things need to be between just you and God. For example, if a guy goes confessing every time he has a lustful thought—everyone is going to think he is a perv. In general, private sin is confessed privately (to those who need to know) and a public sin is confessed publically, not always but in general. Basically, think of confession as a need to know to discussion. If someone doesn’t need to know (if it’s none of their business), don’t make it their business—you have the right to remain silent. Confessing to the wrong people can be harmful. Keep it to the parties involved and you’ll generally do the right and responsible thing. God is where we start with confession and then let him lead you from there.
James 5:16
(NIV) – “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so
that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and
effective”.
Confession isn't just naming what we have done, it requires a promise between you and God. I've never had it out to me that way, which of course has me thinking. Maybe I need to look at how I confess so that I can be more effective at it. We are so saturated with the worldly idea that no matter what we have done, it is someone else's fault. We need to come to the understanding with ourselves that WE are responsible for what we have done, it was OUR CHOICE. Then we need to confess honestly to Good and the ones we have wronged. Then, by our promise with God, and because He is so full of Grace and Mercy for us, we can live in the reality of His forgiveness! Thank You God for being so wonderful to Your children!
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